Jul. 16th, 2008

WoW or GTFO

Oh dear God could it have possibly taken any effin more effort to play WoW? I'm starting to think God doesn't want this for me. -_-;;

So I went to Jeb's on Sunday to hang out, and he and Josh convinced me to make a character on WoW. I've played it before, but not long, because I could feel it sucking me in. so. I finally caved and created a little gnome mage named Karira. (Kalila, the name of my FFXI Black Mage, was taken, I used the Engrish version of the name.) I started playing.

I got to level 7 that night. And then,the next day, they convinced me to buy the damn thing. So I did. But I did not have internet on my computer, only my parents' com[uter, which I've been using for months.

So Josh gave me his router.

I could not make it work, though I am not a complete retard. I gave up, frustrated. I went to Hellmart and bought a router. I could not make it work.

I called India.

I talked to a lady who thought I was retarded. Once she figured out that I had the basics (i.e. plug it up) down, she transfered me to "Cathy." Cathy and I talked. For an hour.

Finally when it was clear something was utterly wrong in the world, I kindly thanked "Cathy" for her help, apologized that it hadn't actually helped, and then told her I was going to give up.

So I did.

ByGod, I just took the modem and plugged to to my computer. Eff the parents. When I'm not using it, I'll give it back.

Of course, this was not possible until tonight, when I bought a 14 ft ethernet cord. So it never ocurred to me before. Sigh.

Whatever. WoW is ready.

Well, except that I have to DL and install the patches. Of course, Jsha nd Jeb gave them all to me on a CD. But, as is par for the course, the CD failed me and now I have to DL them all. Which should be over in...

about another hour.

-_-;;

Bygod, now I HAVE to play.
Tags: , ,

Posted at 02:15 am | | Shatter Me | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

Jun. 11th, 2008

Warning!

Here there be sap.

How do you know you're in love? Because, sometimes, I think I'm in love. In fact, I think I've been in some mild form of love for about 9 months. 

See, there's this guy. I work with him. I first saw him when I was in training (almost exactly 9 months ago), and I was immediately drawn to him. Not like "omg, he's hawt," but like "wow, he has such a kind smile." I know. Strange for me. 

But I never stopped being drawn to him. Every time I saw him, every time I saw that smile, something inside my chest went thudthud. He's... I mean, he's not ugly. No, not at all. But he's is beautiful in a way that most of my friends might not notice. He doesn't even work on the same floor as me, so we only see each other in passing, unless we go to each other's floor, which does happen sometimes. And, a couple of times when it happened, he deliberately sought me out (at least, I think) to sit next to. And... he's so so nice. And his smile. I swear to God, I could live on that smile. When he sits next to me, I'm constantly smiling, and torn between being too nervous to concentrate, and concentrating extra hard so I won't look like an idiot.

I think he knows I like him. I think somehow he's known for a long time. Every time he smiles at me, every single damn time, I smile back, this (goofy) grin that comes hand-in-hand with a bright red blush. I can't help it. I just... I WANT when he's around me. But not even really a lust want. I just. 

I want to touch him. Not sexually, necessarily, I want to hold his hand worse than I want to breathe sometimes.  I want to touch his cheek and see if it's as smooth as it looks. I want to touch his lips, gently, so gently, just to see what they feel like against my skin. And his hair. I want to play with it, run my fingers through it. 

I feel like I'm goona cry. There's this tightness in my chest when I think of him. I want it all so much. But I don't even know if it's possible. He's the only man that's ever made me want to read Philosophy, just because I saw him reading it, and I have no idea if he has a Significant Other. I don't see how he can't. How can anyone not see how wonderful he is? 

Oh, God. this is completely hopeless. 

But tonight. Tonight, I went over to talk to a group of guys (yes, because he was there) before I left work, and... well, he high-fived me, and it was so soft, and it lingered so slightly, and I wanted to hold his hand like nothing else. I actually held my breath for a second. But it didn't happen. But then, when I turned (and I like to think, other than the grin and the blush (what? he was smiling at me) I was completely cool) I said "Bye Fallon!" (Is that not the COOLEST name, btw?)

And he said "Bye Gigi! love you."

I did NOT imagine it. And I wanted, with EVERY part of me, to say it back. And I regret that I just blushed harder, grinned bigger, and didn't say it. 

Oh God. I feel ridiculous. I am not sappy. I just... I'm not. I mean, I have a guy who wants me right now. (this is very much not the normal way of things, believe you me) I have one, and I don't want him. Because, well, for a lot of reasons, but mostly because I think of this guy. A lot. And I keep hoping. Maybe there's a chance? Maybe God will help me out? Maybe, just maybe, I'll get to see what his skin feels like for myself. 

Please God.
Tags: , ,

Posted at 11:23 pm | | Shatter Me | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

Mar. 8th, 2008

Wait... what?

location: home
mood: frustrated
music: the ffvii theme
I've been replaying FFVII, and finally decided to just go ahead and finish the game. I was going to make it to 99 and beat the weapons this time but... well, I got bored, and I wanna start FFIX.

I mean, I'd done just about everything else I knew to do, and a lot of things I had to look up on the internet to know about.

Everyone (okay, stuffed cat and gun hand man are not included cause I NEVER used them once I got new people) had their ultimate weapon and limit break. I had my Gold Chocobo, and she had never lost a single race, not even to Joe. I had all the summons, had them maxed out. Had all the magic materia (I had never found Contain before this time around, btw. Shocked the hell outta me.) maxed out. Had all the support stuff maxed out. I had done everything at the Gold Saucer, beat the special Battle Square battle, and had over 1000 GP LEFT OVER.

I was bored.

So at level 89, I went ahead and beat the game. I went into the final Jenova battle with Cloud, Tifa, and Yuffie all with their limit gauges full. I hit her with two of them and she died. In two hits. I sighed and went on, thinking at least Sephy wasn't such a pussy.

So I fought Seph. I um. I hit him with Yuffie's Limit, which was left over from the Jenova fight, and then Knights of the Round.

Bastard Died on Me.

So. Second form.

Summoned KotR with Cloud. Mimic with Tifa.

He DIED.

The game ended.

I feel so cheated. Didn't it used to be more interesting? Now I don't even want to go back and redo the hard stuff.

Am I just being childish?
Tags: , , ,

Posted at 06:57 pm | | Shatter Me | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

Mar. 2nd, 2008

21 is the new 13

Last night my mother (who was very drunk) informed me that she knew I hated her. When I gave her the "wtf" look, she said she'd read my journal. I was shocked, not because she would do that (she's a snoop), but because I didn't think she knew about blogs, and because I don't talk about her.

But no. She'd read my diary from when I was like 13.

Oh dear God. Of course I wanted to slap her. I also thought Hot Topic was the shit. My judgement was that of a 13 year old kid. I'm 21 now, but apparently, in her eyes, it's all one and the same. This says a lot about my mother.
Tags: ,

Posted at 03:27 pm | | Shatter Me | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

Jan. 16th, 2008

So I'm a moron

location: etsu
mood: /dumbass
I woke up this morning sick and generally unhappy. I didn't take my antibiotics (for my sinus infection) for a day or two (I forgot because of school I guess) and this morning I practically couldn't breathe for my swollen and sore throat. It woke me up from a dream of being strangled, cause I really couldn't breathe. I took some medicine and the swelling went down, but if this is what's gonna happen in a bout a week when I finish my antibiotics (I've been on them since the 31st of December) I'm already pissed. Shouldn't the infection be gone by now? I mean, I've noticed that I still don't feel great, but I thought that was just classes or something. Bleh.

Anyway, I woke up and saw that it was 7:55. Now, granted, I knew this. I didn't oversleep, exactly. I overdozed cause of the throat thing. Considering that the bus I wanted runs by the parking lot I wanted to park in at :00, :20, :30, and :50 past the hour, I needed to hurry to make it to the bus in time to not be late for my class at 9:20.
Yes, you probably just caught my mistake, but keep reading to get to my realization.

So I get to school just in time to see the bus driving away. I think. I can walk, which, considering it has to be in the single digits right now, would suck SO bad, and not make my throat any better, or I can wait for the :20 bus, and be like three minutes late to class. I wait, snuggled up in my semi-warm car.

At :20 after, I hop on the bus, ride the few minutes to my first class, climb to the second floor, and sneak into the room. The class seems to be doing something already, so I take the handout from the girl (it must be student assistant since I don't see my teacher) who doesn't look much older than me, and sit down to a computer and log in.

I look at the handout she gave me.

My, this seems far too simple for the class I'm in. And... does that say 1010 at the top? I thought I was in a 3000 level class. Confusion.

I look at me schedule. Right room. I look at my clock.

Oh. It's 8:25... not 9:25. I'm about an hour early. /dies

So then I have to explain to the teacher what has happened and ask if I can stay in the room, which, though fucking cold since the windows are open (why God?) is at least full of internet for me to play with. So. Now I'm on the internet at least.

Hi.
Tags: , , ,

Posted at 08:44 am | | Shatter Me | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend

Sep. 28th, 2007

I<<

location: ETSU Cave
mood: calm
music: People
Rewind.

Day: Wednesday
Setting: Campus Post Office
Time: 8 am
Scene: Me, checking my mail for the first time in three weeks.

Play.

Ok, so I'm checking my mail before class (which I never do. Ever. Never. Have no idea why I was doing it, as I'm normally in my 8:15 by 8. Anyway. I get the damn combo open (I always just guess the numbers and hope) and there's a single piece of mail. I pull it out and open it, seeing that it is from ETSU (my school of course).

The letter informs me that I have been reported as not attending classes for my Art History class (which I'm retaking as an internet course because I was no satisfied with my initial grade). So, according to the letter, if the issue is not cleared up by the 26th (which... wait, holy shit, isn't that this day?!), the University will re-evaluate my financial status and send me a letter explaining how much I owe. They're gonna take my scholarship.

Pause.

Examine my face. Yes, that's a look of horror and fear, mixed liberally with shock.

Play.

I run to the computer lab, get the teacher's number, email, and, yes, address, and proceed to check the website for ANYTHING about attendance. Is there anything in the syllabus? Nope. Attendance or grading policy? Nope. Okay. Email teacher. Explain in email that I will be calling her as well. Explain urgency of reply.

Leave comuter lab, go outside to get cell phone signal, call number listed.

Pause.

This, dear reader, is me beginning to become VERY angry. Note the tight lips and narrowed eyes. Note the voice which is very calm.

Play.

Talk to ARTH department. They have no idea. Let them call teacher. Call them back. Teacher has no idea. Demand a solution since time is ticking by. Try to be diplomatic. Roll a 12. Not bad. Diplomacy ftw. ARTH lady says if I come by the office she will get it taken care of. Go to ARTH department. Find out that about 7 other students have called. Not just me. Thank God.

Get it fixed, but with NO IDEA what's going on, or how to "attend" my course.

Hate teacher a little.

Go to second class.

And that was me Wednesday. =/ See how MY day started out?
Tags: , ,

Posted at 10:35 am | | Shatter Me | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend